Insomnia
by Ava Chanel
Summary: I can't sleep and I can't tell him why but he's oh so willing to help. Cloud/Tifa one-shot. M rating for sexual content.


**A/N: **_Little one-shot I've been itching to write for a while now. Enjoy. Rated M for a reason, kiddies. _

**Summary: **I can't sleep and I can't tell him why but he's oh so willing to help. Cloud/Tifa one-shot.

**Insomnia**

I have trouble sleeping at night sometimes.

I've got Marlene and Denzel tucked away in bed, fast asleep, safe and sound and Cloud won't be home until late. The bar is closed for the night, clean and ready for the next day of business.

But I still can't sleep tonight.

No, it isn't because I'm worried about him this time. And no, it isn't the dreams or the nightmares. I know Cloud is safe and my battle with those terrible memories has been a long but victorious one. But sleep, peace, and rest still manages to elude me. I've tried everything. I've closed the curtains, closed the windows, shut my door, drank a glass of warm milk, counted chocobos, read a book, thought happy thoughts and all that other stuff, too.

And here I am, up like a light bulb, sitting on the tangled up sheets in the darkness of my bedroom. It's all I can do from looking outside. It's all I can do to calm my quick beating heart when the awful _noise_ penetrates through the closed windows. I can hear the rumbling and I know it's starting. My body is coated in a thin sheen of sweat and my hair has stuck to my moist face in response.

I feel hot.

And sticky.

And terrified.

I am terrified of it.

My pillow is clutched in my arms, my grip on it deathly strong so that I know I am on the verge of tearing it apart. It stays there, huddled against my sweat ridden breast, keeping me safe, keeping me sane.

I clench my teeth, shut my eyes tight as the noise comes again, shaking the whole room with the vibrations. Tears threaten against my lashes because of how tight I have closed my eyes. A shiver wracks my body, even though I am so hot.

I am at war with myself, desperately trying to fight off the urge to throw back the curtains and terrify myself past the point of mobilization. I do not understand this urge and all I really want to do is sleep. It's all I want.

Why can't I just sleep?

I am so tired. I am so exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. I am tired from work, tired from the lack of sleep, tired of putting up the smiles so the kids don't worry, tired of waiting around for Cloud every day, tired of being who I am.

_Please, just let me sleep. _

It knocks against my windows now, begging for entry. It is not gentle. It is unforgiving. It is relentless and angry. A quiet and painful moan fills the dark room and it takes me some time to understand that the sound has come from my own parched mouth.

A flash illuminates the room and casts long shadows, disappearing shortly after and making me jump. I bring the pillow closer to my face and fall back into my cool and sweat soaked sheets, wrapping them around me once again.

I'll have to wait it out. Which would mean very little sleep. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing but hope and pray the children slept comfortably and wouldn't wake to question the whimpers coming from my room. Nothing but hope that Cloud came home and walked directly past this room without hearing my desperate cries. It would kill me for them to see me this way.

I couldn't even think about it.

The fearless Tifa Lockhart, cowering under her sheets...

It sounded so awful that I tucked my head under the blankets with my pillow still with me. I must have been sweating buckets this way but I just didn't care. I was far too terrified. As if on cue, it came down harder now, beating at my windows like bullets. The flashing lit up the room again and again and the noise. Oh that awful noise. It made me cry out in fear every time I heard it.

The night was going to be long.

"Tifa?"

Cloud?

His voice sounded close. Was it my imagination or was he in my room? I hadn't heard him open the door. I didn't move. I waited, wondering if I had just thought I heard him. But then he called out again, this time his voice even closer to me.

"Tifa, is that you?"

Oh, it was him. It was. Cloud was here. Cloud was here! It was good to know he had made it home. But he couldn't see me.

He couldn't see me like this, not in this way. Not when the noise was so close to my window, where the bullets kept pounding on the glass and making me cry out. Not when my face was tear streaked and sweaty. And most definitely not when I was such a disaster.

This time the noise was so loud, so close to my ears, I whimpered and sank deeper into the covers. I knew he noticed because the mattress shifted with his added weight. He was sitting next to me. If I could just bring myself to look at him, I think it would help calm me down. But I can't.

I feel his hand on my back and it rests there, patting and rubbing gently, sweetly. Hard to believe how much blood once coated those gentle hands. I welcomed it because mine were no different than his.

"It's really pouring out there, huh?" His voice is quiet but I've heard him.

I wondered if it had caught him while driving. I wonder if he's wet and if he needs to dry off before he gets sick. But that's all I can do for I am paralyzed by this fear. This ridiculous fear that I cannot understand.

Silence fills the room between us and I can still hear it out there. I wished badly that Cloud would talk to me. Take my mind off of all of it. But he doesn't say anything and I'm left to be tormented by the flashes, the shadows it casts, the bullets and all the noise.

I'm shivering, fighting with my body, trying to mask my fear in front of Cloud when I hear him move about. The sheets rustle and before I can do anything to stop it, he's got the covers thrown and I am exposed. But I have my face tucked away into my pillow. I will maintain what little dignity I have left.

The bed moves and I know that he is lying next to me, the same sweat ridden sheets covering him and me. I'd have paid more attention to this if I hadn't been so petrified by the noises outside my room, penetrating my walls where I thought myself safe.

I've got a vice like grip on my pillow but Cloud yanks it out of my grasp and I suddenly feel naked and exposed. Perhaps I was weaker than I thought. Cool air hits my wet face and I can barely open my eyes to see Cloud's face.

I miss the pillow.

But He's replaced it for me with himself. His arms are around me and he's got my face buried into his bare chest. I can feel his hot skin beneath my cheek and hear his heartbeat in my ear.

Lub-dub

Lub-dub

Lub-dub

The sound drowns out everything else. The feeling he's evoked in me has taken over and my body has stilled in his arms. His heart plays me a lullaby and my hands find their way onto his naked shoulders. He's wet, I can feel the water on his skin and I now know that he had been caught in it. He pulls me closer into him and his fingers play with my hair.

But then the room lights up again and the shadows are back. I shiver and hide my face into him. He moves so that his hand can cup my chin and raise my face to his. Through a tear ridden gaze, I can see him in the dark. His hair is down and sopping wet, shaggy and a darker shade of golden blonde in the moonlight. His aquamarine eyes look at me, glowing in the night due to the mako inside of him.

"Look only at me, Tifa." His voice is a whisper and his breath caresses my skin like silk, he's so close.

The bullets are getting angrier and I shut my eyes, trying hard to drown out the sound. But then his lips are on my forehead, cool and soft and I can think of nothing but how they feel on my skin. His heart beat is drowning out the rest of the world as it gets louder. Or maybe that's my own heart?

"Think only of me..." He whispers, his voice defeating the bullets and all that noise outside.

In my room, in the dark, I hear only him and I do as he suggests. I think only of him. His face is so close to mine, the very tip of his nose brushing mine. I can feel his hot breaths on my skin, slow and even. The noise interrupts us and I find my nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders. He doesn't flinch, he only lowers his mouth to the bridge of my nose and places yet another tender kiss, lingering for a brief moment. I learn to breathe him in, his scent and I welcome it. It is familiar to me, reminding me of happier times, of feelings that were once unrequited.

The sounds come again but they are but background music to the steady beat of his heart, of his even breaths, hot on my skin.

His mouth hovers over mine when he whispers, "Only me..."

And then soft lips are on mine, delicate and unmoving. A butterfly kiss that sends my heart into a frenzy. It is then that I realize how much I want him, the need for his lips and his skin growing stronger than the fear of strange shadows and bullets. My hands crawl up his chest, nervous and testing but he welcomes them. I wrap them around his neck where they tangle in his wet hair and push him closer to me, crushing his mouth against mine. His hands have drifted to my waist, fingers tantalizingly close to the lower portion of my body. The heat of his skin through my clothes makes me crave more of him. My legs have found their way to wind around his and his cool skin against me is a refreshing change from the feel of the sheets.

Light flashes but I'm focused on him now, letting him deepen the kiss, the taste of his mouth fresh and hot. My tongue wars with his and I revel in how he feels beneath my fingertips. His hands have lifted the material of my night dress significantly high, revealing more of my thighs and underwear. His hands stroke my legs gently, gliding up and down my skin and it feels so wonderful.

I push my body up against his, making sure to press my breasts against his hard chest, bringing him as close to me as possible. By this time, the thin material of my dress is sitting wrinkled at my stomach and his hands are cupping my backside, squeezing gently and bringing me even closer to him. He's slipped rough and callused hands underneath my underwear and has started caressing the delicate skin. He's left my mouth and has started attacking my neck with his tongue. My fingers dig into his hair as he moves lower, towards my breasts. The straps of my night dress are slipping down my shoulders and at this point, it's very easy for him to expose me entirely.

I have no shame; I have nothing to hide from him. He knows my body well enough by now that the scars do not even faze him.

Cool air hits my breasts before I feel his mouth take one in while his hand caresses the other. I throw back my head; eyes closed and sweat beading on my forehead with my bangs sticking to my skin. A soft moan leaves my mouth when I feel the wetness of his tongue glide across the delicate bud of my nipple. The noise is drowned out by the thunderous noise outside and he lets go, whispering into the night, "Only me, Tifa. Only me..."

His mouth moves to the other neglected breast as soon as he finished speaking and I grab onto his hair, bringing his head closer to me. His teeth lightly graze my breast, nibbling tenderly on the soft flesh. Another sound escapes me but this time, my whimpers are of pleasure and not fear.

More.

I want more.

More of him.

But his hands have ventured towards my underwear, fingers slipping underneath the hem and pulling them downwards until they came across my knees. I kicked them off and he brought back his lips to mine. The kiss was different; this one was not chaste, not romantic. It fuelled our need and was all lust. I had my legs around him again and he pressed his evident erection that was still constrained by his clothes, against my lower abdomen. I placed my hand on his bare chest where I could feel the pounding of his heart, moving faster and stronger than the last time I'd heard it. I wondered if mine was doing the same.

And then I ventured down his lean stomach, tracing the curves of each muscle and feeling the soft tickle of little hairs beneath his navel. He shuddered under my touch as I drew closer to the belt buckle blocking the adventure of my hands. Still engaging him in fervent kisses, hot and sweet, I managed to undo his belt and directly afterwards, his pants. Parting only for a moment to allow him to dispose of every article of clothing left from keeping his skin away from mine, he came back for more kisses as I shyly moved my almost naked body to his.

I could feel the head of his erection against me again and the contact of that part of him on my skin left a hot trail that seared through my flesh. I raised my arms and he threw the night gown over my head and onto the floor where the rest of our clothes lay, forgotten and unimportant in this moment. The battle outside raged on but my thoughts were only of him. Desire had an overwhelming power over fear and it had won and conquered me.

I just wanted so much more of him.

I just wanted all of him.

He rolled me onto my back and slid on top of me, the sheets entangling around us but also forgotten. My legs naturally wrapped around his and brought his lower body closer to mine, rubbing his hardened phallus against me, so dangerously close to where I wanted it to be. His hands stroked the sides of my breasts as he ventured down my body, leaving in his wake a trail of kisses as he went. He kissed my neck, my throat and the delicate curve of my shoulder before he kissed my breasts. And then the soft skin in between them before moving on to kiss my stomach. My fingers stroked his hair, encouraging him and pleasuring him.

Goose bumps broke out over my flesh where his soft lips made contact and when, occasionally, he'd flick his moist tongue and suckle on my skin, I'd let out a low moan that would fill the room. But then he kissed the delicate area of my inner thigh, so, _so_ close to where I was craving his attention. I was aching for it; aching for him to plunge his tongue inside of me where release was waiting on the other side. We were both very painfully aware of the moisture accumulating in between my legs.

I arched my back and couldn't fight off the sharp gasp that escaped my mouth when he started to lick my core. I grabbed fistfuls of blonde hair as he continued to lick and prod with his tongue, smooth and even strokes that were so slow, it hurt. I was aware of nothing else; nothing but what he was doing and how he was pleasing me. It was not the first time he had done it and, over time, he had grown to perfect it, playing my body like an instrument. He knew everything intimate about me; the spots that he circled with his tongue sent me into a fit as my whole body jerked, whispering his name softly into the night. The places he kissed sent shivers down my spine despite the sweat that coated every inch of my skin. He was teasing me, torturing me. Because he knew how much I enjoyed it. How much I needed it.

He grazed the sensitive skin with his teeth, lightly and enough to cause me to whimper as I felt the pleasure building up. My fingers dug deeper into his thick hair, my hips bucking against his mouth, I didn't know how much more I was going to be able to take. It only took him one final lick with his slick tongue to send my body into a spasm. I felt the pleasure build and build and I screamed his name as my body convulsed with the orgasm that rode me. My breaths were coming in heavy and shallow and I could feel my heart pounding away inside my chest.

But it wasn't enough; I wanted to please him, too.

I needed to please him. To watch his face as I did what he enjoyed. He climbed back up on top of me and placed an open kiss on my mouth, our tongues clashing as I tasted him and revelled in how good it felt to have him here. His erection had grown, rubbing against me more anxiously, seeking and begging for attention.

My fingers wrapped around his erection and I started a steady rhythm. His mouth left mine and he let out a hiss at the contact. His eyes shut in pleasure as my hand worked him. I quickened the pace and I felt the sheets move as Cloud's hands clutched them. I didn't know how much more I could take; I wanted him so much more now. Watching him in this way, the way his breaths left him in quick, soft gasps. Then there was the way his naked chest heaved and the occasional moan that he'd emit. Sweat coated his naked skin and I wanted to taste him.

But I was aching, too and I didn't know how much more I'd be able to take. I could feel him, hard and ready and I knew that I was definitely ready for him. His golden hair was matted, falling before his eyes as he gritted his teeth when I slowed down my pace. I wanted to feel him on me again. Perhaps it made me selfish. Either way, Cloud didn't complain.

When I let go of him, he was quick to cover my mouth with his and I moaned into him while his hands travelled my body and he pressed himself against me. Instinct had me wrapping my legs around him instantly, keeping him there and bringing him as close as possible. My hands roamed his back, tracing all the scars; the deep ones, the shallow ones and the worst ones. His own hands slid underneath my back and before I could protest, he had me sitting in his lap, his mouth still on mine.

I nibbled on his bottom lip, suckling on it while he shifted underneath me. He penetrated me then, quickly, and I let out a sharp gasp at the feel of him inside. His callused hands stroked the length of my back as I got adjusted to him and started to work my hips. I leaned back, arching as I moved my hips slowly, in a circular motion. Cloud's moans filled the room but it wasn't long before my voice joined his.

Cloud's hands rested at my hips, squeezing the soft flesh and moving me faster. He then leaned forward and left a cool, wet trail with his tongue down my stomach and over my navel. I cried out as the pleasure built up and up with Cloud starting to thrust forward, matching my own rhythm.

The wonderful music outside was but a background noise in my room, between us and in this moment. My body was on edge, every nerve tingling, my skin like fire and the beast lurking deep below in my belly, coming to life, needy and hungry. The way Cloud filled me when I took him all in, the way our bodies rocked together in a rhythmic unison and the way the light flashed and the rain poured, banging against the windowpanes like bullets. Everything was what I made it to be.

My eyes were closed, my head falling back and I moaned into the night, into the emptiness of the room, my voice muffled by the sounds outside. Cloud pounded into me more ferociously and when I looked at his face, his features were fixed in such a way; pleasurable and pain. I found my hands gripping his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as he thrust in deeper, harder.

I could feel the way my body enveloped him, welcomed him and how close I was getting. As the waves of pleasure grew, my fingers found themselves tangled into Cloud's hair, bringing him closer to my body, driving him deeper still. He grunted and growled but didn't slow down his pace. I was mewling into his ear, eyes shut tight as it came closer.

Our breaths came out faster, more ragged and short and I was becoming more and more aptly aware of how hard he was inside of me, how much of my wetness had coated him; the slick and sliding sounds loud enough to feel like they were right next to my ear. My voice gained momentum before it came, the sounds escaping my throat audible enough to know that it was his name on my lips.

My heartbeat sang as my body rode the wave after wave of pleasure. A raking shudder ran through me and it felt wonderful. The aching and tightening in my belly was replaced with satisfaction, my body going into spasms as the last remnants of the orgasm left me. Yet, I still continued to ride Cloud, wanting him to reach it, too. His knuckles had paled where he gripped my hips, driving himself as far as he could go inside of me. He had his head buried into my breasts, muffling the groans that I was eliciting from him. I spurred him, whispering his name into his ear.

"Cloud..."

And then I felt him tense up below me, his muscles contracting, twitching inside of me. He lifted his head and, eyes shut, with one final thrust, he let out a loud moan as he filled me. The warmth of him radiated inside of me and I wanted to keep him there. I leaned down and brushed the golden hairs stuck onto his sweaty face, kissing him tenderly. His eyes opened and when we drew apart, our breaths came out shallow.

He stared at me briefly and smiled. He leaned back onto the bed and drew me down with him. I lay on top of him, my ear pressed against his naked chest where I listened to his heartbeat. It was still moving fast but was definitely slowing down. He enveloped me in his arms and the noise outside still raged on. The rain poured violently, the lightning crackled and lit up the room occasionally while the thunder roared. But all I listened to was his heart and I fell asleep to its simple lullaby...

_**-Fin**_

**A/N:** _Any feedback is welcome. :)_


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